


Starting Soon

by UngratefulSatisfaction



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: 3RACHA are music producers/rappers, A focus on names, Among Us, Awkward first conversations, Cuddling & Snuggling, Domestic, Everyone streams on Twitch, Felix makes Minecraft content, Hair Kink, Heavy Petting, I don't think they're furries but there are strong feline motifs here, Light Sexual Language, M/M, Making Out, Non-Idol AU, Not sponsored by Discord or Twitch, Professional gamerz, Real names are also used, This is hands down the cringiest thing I've ever written enjoy ig, Uno (the card game), cat ear headphones, gamertags, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 01:14:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28804887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UngratefulSatisfaction/pseuds/UngratefulSatisfaction
Summary: In which Felix, a popular streamer, has a crush on 3RACHA's Chan. Obviously, the only way to start talking with Chan is to invite him to stream Among Us with him and his friends. It only goes uphill from there.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix
Comments: 42
Kudos: 335





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea how much of this will make sense if you've never watched a Twitch stream or played Among Us.
> 
> And while we’re at it, I know Shin Jimin is cancelled, but AOA’s “Confused,” “Like a Cat,” and “Miniskirt” (in that order) are the vibes for this fic

The stream deck is on. The second monitor displays the Twitter timeline, OBS, and the Twitch chat. The pre-stream screen is up, and Felix is staring at the clock as he fixes the last few things. His team has connected on Discord, but everyone is muted right now. He’ll start the stream to do greetings in a few minutes. 

He scrolls through Twitter to see the replies on his stream announcement to keep his mind occupied. Felix could let the anxiety rise while he waits, but distraction is better. The DM he receives from one of his mods may be too much of a distraction. But he still has time, so he opens it, even though he kind of wants to chastise her for not focusing before they start a four-hour esports stream.

It’s a clip of CB97, and the message explains that the clip is from a stream he just finished. He sits against the usual backdrop for his just-chatting streams, dressed in black with his dark curls drooping over his eyes. Felix has to start the clip over because his surprise kept him from hearing the beginning, that and the initial shock of seeing someone so attractive appear on his screen. 

“You know what would be nice?” he asks, eyes scanning over his chat while talks. “That game that’s been popular— _Among Us_ —I haven’t played it yet.” He laughs at a comment in chat. “Stream it? I don’t even know how to stream a game, let alone know nine people to play with.” He reads another comment. “Oh? Play with J.One and SpearB? Yeah, they’d probably want to. They play games in their free time a lot, to the extent that I sometimes get on their case about work. What? Nagging? I don’t really—”

The video loops back to the beginning. Felix stares at the screen for a while before typing out a message to his mod. _What??? And why???_ He waits for a response, completely focused on this until a voice in his ear catches his attention.

“Cloud?” his teammate asks. “We’re in the lobby. Are you ready?” _Shit._ Felix unmutes himself.

“Yeah, sorry. I was talking with my mods. Joining now.” He clicks on the server. While it loads, he starts the stream and mutes his mic to his teammates again. “Hey everyone,” Felix greets. He reads out some of the donations from pre-stream while he navigates his character to where his teammates are waiting. “Tonight is Twitch Rivals, so I won’t be reading chat as much tonight. Strats? They haven’t released the bingo card yet, so we—”

He stops when he sees the notification for a Twitter DM. “One second,” he tells chat. _Shoot your shot! Invite him to play. You’ve streamed_ Among Us _before_. Felix frowns. They’ve known each other a long time, and she, like the fans, is well aware of his little celebrity crush. He doesn’t respond, and instead turns back to chat.

They talk as much as they can before they get the announcements to head to the team servers and prepare to start. The first session passes by in a blur, and his team finishes in third place. “It’s fine,” one of his teammates says. “We’ll come back in the resource gathering and the head hunt.” Felix hopes it’s true. He doesn’t need the money, but his blood is boiling with competitive energy.

The admins give them ten minutes before the next round, so Felix makes himself a cup of tea and tries to relax. His team got third last time, and Felix would love to get first this time. He comes back to his seat before any of his team, so he reads chat.

“Twitter? What about it?” Felix asks. He only sees the wall of _check twitter_ multiply. Felix sighs and refreshes the Twitter timeline. “Oh, I see. Guys, I’m trying to focus.” There are at least a hundred notifications of him being tagged in tweets with that clip of CB97 talking about _Among Us_.

A couple tweets also tag CB97, and Felix blushes. He’s pretty sure he has no idea who Felix is. “What are you talking about? I’m not embarrassed.” But his chat continues harping on his pink cheeks. “It’s the RGB,” he says, eyes going to the video to make sure the headphones are flashing properly. Of course, they’re oscillating between cool colors right now, which only makes his face look pinker.

“Should I?” Felix asks softly. His chat seems to agree that inviting 3RACHA to play _Among Us_ is a good idea. “Hmm, maybe. No promises. I have to finish this before I even think about that.” He catches a team member moving her character, so she’ll probably unmute soon and want to talk. “After this,” he reminds his chat. The only messages he can see are people on about ‘crossovers’ and ‘otp’ and other things that shake Felix’s focus. Thousands of dollars—but more importantly, his _pride_ —is on the line. 

After this.

Chan stares at the offending email for a long time, even after reading it. The address and the signature are curious things. Chan gets a lot of crap in his business inbox, but this looks real.

_CB97,  
A couple days ago, one of my moderators sent me a clip where you expressed interest in streaming Among Us. I’m a fulltime streamer, and I’ve played the game before. A lot of my fans showed interest in chat, on Twitter, etc. in seeing us play together. If you want, I can put together a lobby for you with some other streamers? We can play for charity if you’re interested in that.  
-CloudYong  
_

He takes a screenshot and sends it to the group chat with Jisung and Changbin. Honestly, Chan has no idea what he’s supposed to do with this. He said that thing in his just-chatting stream as a throw away line while he was rambling. Of all the things he expected to get clipped from that stream—the bum conversation or the feet conversation, for example—he was not expecting for this to come back on his radar. While he waits for his friends to respond, he might as well look this person up.

At the bottom of the email are a couple links to Twitch, Youtube, and other social media. He clicks on the Twitter link. The profile is very professional, and the picture is a hand making a peace sign in front of a fancy latte on a wooden table. _Maybe they’re one of those gamers that doesn’t show their face_ , Chan thinks to himself. He starts to scroll but stops when he sees the follower count. _1.2 million? How is that even possible?_

So a celebrity emailed him. Chan scrolls down to see that their most recent tweets were announcements for streams or video postings. _They make fucking_ Minecraft _content?_ Chan feels even more lost than when he had just the email. At least his friends responded.

 **A.Changbin:** So are we doing it or nah?  
**A.Jisung:** I’m down!  
**A.Jisung:** Charity stream sounds fun!  
**Chan:** I messaged you bc I have no idea  
**A.Changbin:** Fuck it why not  
**A.Changbin:** Or, first, is this person legit, Hyung?  
**A.Jisung:** True  
**A.Jisung:** Do we know that they’re not a Nazi?  
**Chan:** I don’t think they’re a Nazi??

Chan does a quick search with ‘scandal’ after the person’s name. The only articles that show up are scandals from other professional _Minecraft_ gamers and one tabloid that attempted to shade this person coming out as a scandal. He tries with different search words to find a fan post praising this guy for taking stances against racism, homophobia, and the likes.

 **Chan:** He seems legit. Only good things showed up on naver/google  
**A.Changbin:** So what do you want to do?  
**Chan:** I guess I’ll tell him we’re interested? And see what happens from there  
**Chan:** And I’ll bcc you in so I don’t have to keep sending pics to you  


_CloudYong,  
We’d love to! Thank you for getting into contact with us. Truthfully, none of us have streamed any game content, just music stuff and chatting. Would you be able to help us with that? And as far as a timeline, how about a week from now? It can be longer if it needs to be, whatever works.  
Sincerely,  
CB97, 3RACHA  
_

The Discord jingle plays, and the video call connects. “Hyunjin! Jeongin!” Felix says. They both lean back from their cameras. “You have to help me!”

“We’re on call, aren’t we?” Hyunjin asks. “Will you tell us what you’re freaking out about?”

“Okay, so you know that rapper I like,” Felix starts.

“CB97, right?” Jeongin asks.

“Exactly! I emailed his business address and offered to help him stream an _Among Us_ game.”

“…What?” Felix gives them the rundown and paraphrases the three emails between them.

“Look at you,” Hyunjin says, making a deal of looking him up and down—or at least, doing it as well as he can over video call. “Shooting you shot and landing it.”

“I’ve landed nothing,” Felix grumbles. “I’ve never hosted before. What was I thinking? And how am I supposed to get six other people to agree to play with us and coordinate their schedules on a week’s notice?”

“You have me,” Jeongin says. “We haven’t played _Among Us_ in a couple weeks.”

“I couldn’t possibly turn this opportunity down,” Hyunjin says. “Literally my only streams for the past two months have been dancing or _Among Us_.”

“It kind of seems like an obsession at this point,” Jeongin mutters.

“Kind of,” Felix agrees. “But thank you guys, seriously.”

“Hey, anything to get that sweet rapper dick, am I right?” Hyunjin asks. Jeongin and Felix both groan.

“Disgusting,” Jeongin says.

“I’m just saying,” Hyunjin says with a shrug. “So. We need four more. Who do we know?”

“Seungmin and Minho?” Jeongin suggests.

“Like we could convince those two to stream together,” Hyunjin says. “The last time they streamed together was just before Seungmin started his character design series.”

“If anyone could convince them, it’s Felix,” Jeongin says. 

“You think so?” Felix asks. It would be nice to play with both of them together again. He hasn’t managed that in at least a year, always having to pick one or the other.

“It’s worth a shot.”

“So that’s eight,” Hyunjin says. “Any of your _Minecraft_ friends want to?” Felix shakes his head.

“My servermates who I’m actually close with aren’t interested in playing _Among Us_.”

“Can’t understand why.” Felix shrugs.

“I could ask Chenle,” Felix says.

“Oh, ZongZhong, he played last time with us, right?” Jeongin asks.

“Yeah.” 

“Okay, that’s nine,” Hyunjin says. “If you want, I can ask DaikiKo.” Felix struggles to remember who that is. “He does RPGs mainly, but I’ve played _Among Us_ with him before. He’s really good.”

“Sure,” Felix says. “That’s ten, if everyone agrees.”

“Tell them it’s for love and they’ll agree,” Hyunjin says. 

Felix isn’t so sure about that, but he sends everyone a message to see if they’re interested. Hyunjin and Jeongin stay on call to chat about less stressful things. They congratulate him on his Rivals win and give Felix spoils for their upcoming plans and projects. It’s only late at night that they end the call.

A little research into a future business partner is, in fact, not stalking. He does refuse to watch any of CloudYong’s streams or videos, because he doesn’t want to cheat. _Among Us_ is one of those games where knowing the opponents’ play styles may be too much of an advantage. Chan already knows Jisung and Changbin like the back of his hand; it would be too unfair to secretly case this guy as well.

He does get a bit flustered when he sees the tweet where CloudYong quoted a tweet with the video clip of Chan talking about the game. _Thank you all for sending this clip to me over one hundred times!! I’ll contact him so chill out!_ Chan rereads the text and tries to decide if it’s hyperbolic or not. Are his fans really that invested in them playing together? 3RACHA doesn’t even have that large of a fanbase, so he can’t imagine there is any significant overlap between the two of them.

His self-censored research doesn’t yield much else about the guy. He finds out that they’re around the same age and both from Australia. He’s been making content for six years, so he must have started pretty young. Nothing bad shows up still, so Chan isn’t worried about it. What he’s worried about is whether or not the stream going well. Chan streams frequently—much more frequently than Changbin or Jisung ever solo stream—but he’s never streamed while playing a game. He’s only ever done it while chatting, producing, or playing acoustic covers.

At least CloudYong answers all his questions and offers advice. They’ve exchanged multiple emails, each one from CloudYong detailing how to stream with other people over Discord, how to use StreamSquads, and even how to play _Among Us_. Though, Chan requested for CloudYong to not give away any of his strategies. He, Jisung, and Changbin played several anonymous rounds with strangers over the past week so they aren’t flying totally blind this weekend, but none of them are going to pretend they’re professionals.

And the stream is tomorrow. He announced it on Twitter a couple days ago after CloudYong confirmed that the lobby was set, and the fans responded with excitement. Chan idly scrolls through the replies instead of working on his open track.

_So we finally get to see 3RACHA proving that they’re gamers?_  
_The crossover we’ve been waiting for—minecrafter and self-made rappers stream_  
_When your fave finally gets to work with his fave_

Chan notices a trend in the comments. Has he talked about Chan before? Either that or they really have a lot of overlap in their fanbases for some reason and the fans have active imaginations. His fingers fidget to open a new tab to search for answers, but he decides against it. It’s never good to self-search, especially not with another public figure’s name. Bad idea.

It doesn’t matter anyway. Tomorrow they’re streaming together. It’ll be nice to do something fun for once, especially since he hasn’t played with Jisung or Changbin in a while. Even if there are strangers too, he can pretend it’s just friends getting together. He’ll probably get railed about his shit gaming skills or streaming skills, but it will be okay.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol try and guess what streamers I watch regularly 'cause I totally lifted at least one scene from their antics

The day of has Felix more anxious than any esports competition he’s ever done. Everyone has joined the Discord server already, Felix has his pre-stream on, and he’s trying to form a room on _Among Us_. He’s more worried than the last time he played _Among Us_ with his friends, not just because his celebrity crush is joining this time, but also because three out of ten people here have never streamed a game. Felix wants them to do well, for their sake and for everyone else’s.

He can’t offer help until he sets the lobby up, though. _The Skeld, 2, Other, 10_. It takes on the first try, even on a Saturday night. Felix sees it as a good sign and sends the code in the Discord. KkomiJin, J.One, and SeungminKim join immediately. J.One joining makes Felix breathe a little easier, but he still worries.

So Felix pulls up all three of their streams on his third monitor. J.One has it settled, face cam in the center bottom and the game’s title screen displayed. He’s talking with his chat while he fixes the skin on his character. Check. SpearB has his face cam in the left upper corner with an overlay to cover the code as he types it in. Check. CB97 has everything set, but he’s focused on chat. Even as everyone else joins the lobby, CB97 doesn’t check Discord.

Felix sends the map they’re playing to the Discord, so the new players can reference it during discussions. Still no response from CB97, and it seems like everyone is waiting for Felix before speaking to the group. Might as well. Felix pushes the talk button and unmutes CB97’s stream.

“CB97, are you there?” he asks, his voice rough from not being used much today. The Discord overlay with his profile picture flashes on all three of their streams. That’s a win.

He startles in his chair. “Oh wow,” CB97 says. “That _voice_.” Felix is glad he hasn’t started his stream yet because he’d rather the camera not capture his embarrassed expression right now. CB97 fumbles for the Discord control, so Felix mutes his stream. A quick glance and Felix sees that J.One is unsurprised and SpearB has his eyebrows raised. 

"Sorry, what?” CB97 asks when he finds the right button.

“Have you checked Discord?” Felix asks. “We’re waiting on you.” Chan looks rattled as he messes with his computer until his character joins the lobby.

“And I’m sure your viewers are waiting for you to start your stream,” Hyunjin says in his typical teasing tone.

“Thank you, Jin,” Felix says. “I’ll start my stream then fix the settings, alright?” He gets a few responses, and Felix starts his stream.

He thanks people for the donations, greets his regulars, and answers a few questions. There are a lot of comments about CB97. He reads a few while they bicker over Discord.

“CB, man, are you already flustered?” SpearB asks, his light Korean accent rounding out the words. It’s been a while since Felix has heard him or J.One speaking English. “How are you going to lie properly.”

“You seem pretty confident considering we’re playing with a bunch of pros here,” CB97 says.

“Hardly,” Minho says. “We’re all pretty bad at this game.”

“Speak for yourself,” Hyunjin says. 

“Last time we played, Seungmin was the only smart one, right?” Jeongin asks.

“Yes, it was like the we all shared one braincell and Seungmin had it for the whole session,” Hyunjin says.

“CB is the one who usually takes care of 3RACHA’s one braincell,” J.One says. Felix loses his concentration and laughs at them. He deafens them for a moment.

“Sorry,” Felix says to his chat. “Yeah, in case you missed it, we have some guests today. Let me know if I need to raise or lower anyone. Oh, yes, the divorced couple is currently here together. Don’t ask me how, I had to beg them. Overlays are on the left side, so right now I’m just talking to you guys. Remember, no spoilers in chat unless I’m dead. And last thing, any donations made to me or CB97 will be for charity today—mods, will you please enter the command for the charity’s description? Thank you. Shall we get started?” 

Chat seems satisfied, so he turns the Discord sound back on. “Sorry!” CB97 says loudly. Hyunjin’s cackling echoes around it. “I didn’t know.”

“He was worried about cheating, so he didn’t watch anyone’s videos,” J.One says.

“Nothing wrong with it,” Minho says. “It was cute reaction, and I’m sure Cloud appreciated it.”

“It wouldn’t be cheating if you watched my non- _Among Us_ content,” Felix says, ignoring Minho’s comment. He can see CB97’s reaction, him covering his face with his hand and his shoulders shaking with laughter.

“What are we waiting on?” he asks when he gets his composure.

“Oh, right,” Felix says. “Rules. How do we feel about this?” He fiddles with a few of them until he gets the usual he plays with. It’s heavy on tasks, heavy on discussion time, visuals off, confirms off, and no anonymous voting. General consensus. The 3RACHA members don’t ask any questions, and Felix can’t tell if that’s a good thing or not. Felix minimizes their streams. “Let’s begin.”

“Kill Seungmin first,” Minho says as the round starts.

Crewmate first round. Easy stuff. Felix swipes his card, goes to electrical. Reactor gets called, so he goes over to help fix that. The round continues for a while, so Felix gets antsy about there being bodies. He goes back to electrical, but someone reports before he gets there.

“Dead body in nav,” Hyunjin says. Three dead. “It’s J.One—oh no.”

“What?” Felix asks.

“Oh, that’s tragic,” Hyunjin says. “We killed our guests first.” 

“That’s so wrong,” DaikiKo. Felix stifles his laughter. He sees several chat messages go by demanding he ‘avenge his boy’.

“Jin, did you see anything?” Seungmin asks.

“Um, no. I came from the top,” Hyunjin says. “I passed Lee Know in cafeteria. Where was everyone?”

None of the answers are helping as the time winds down. Everyone skips, though Minho votes for Seungmin. “Seriously?” Seungmin asks at the last second, exasperated.

Round two. Felix follows Hyunjin over to the left side and goes down to medical with him. Might as well make friends, since he barely saw anyone last round. Alibis and witnesses are good. Unless Hyunjin is the imposter. Felix decides he isn’t when they go to weapons, and Hyunjin waits for him to do his task. Another body is reported.

“Seungmin, found dead in electrical,” Chenle says.

“I can vouch for Jin,” Felix says.

“Yeah, we were together the whole round,” Hyunjin says. 

“Aww, like a little date,” Minho says.

“I wish,” Hyunjin says, and Felix laughs.

“I.N,” Felix says. “You’re being quiet.”

“He’s always quiet,” Minho says.

“Oh? Are you defending him?” DaikiKo asks.

“Lee Know being the imposter would make sense since Seungmin is dead,” Felix says.

“Please, I’m not that obvious,” Minho says.

“And Lee Know was coming from the right side where I found J.One last round,” Hyunjin says. Fifteen seconds left.

“Let’s vote Lee Know,” Felix says, casting his vote. All but Jeongin vote for him. 

“So that means I.N next,” Chenle says.

“No!” Jeongin says. 

They deal with a sabotage called once the match starts and then call an emergency meeting. Jeongin tries pitifully to defend himself but is thrown off without a chance. The game announces the crewmates’ victory.

“Called it,” Felix says, the high of winning in his heart. 

“Don’t be so smug,” Minho says. “I only killed Seungmin ‘cause I thought it was a clean kill.”

“And sorry to our guests,” Felix says.

“It wasn’t on purpose,” Jeongin says meekly. 

“It’s fine,” CB97 says. “Chat is letting me know exactly how much I suck at this game already.”

“Really? ‘Cause my chat is awesome. Nothing but praise over here,” J.One says. 

“Praise for being the first killed?” SpearB asks.

“Starting,” Felix says.

He gets crewmate for the next few games, dying early in one of them and losing to Hyunjin and DaikiKo imposters in another. They lower the kill cooldown to try and balance it more. Felix is starting to get impatient with not having an imposter round, and chat is teasing him for his moodiness.

“Forever crewmate,” Felix says. He heads to electrical. “I’m going to die in here, just watch,” he tells his chat. 

Instead, he walks in just in time to see DaikiKo’s body drop and SpearB run into the vent. “A body! What’s the hotkey?” Felix is too flustered do it properly. Which is unfortunate, when Seungmin comes in and reports for him.

“That was quick,” Minho remarks.

“Electrical, saw Cloud standing over the body,” Seungmin says. He votes. “Case closed. It’s him."

“No!” Felix says, voice too loud. “It was—it was SpearB! I saw him kill him and then vent.”

“I was in reactor doing the button press thingy,” SpearB says, voice calm.

“What button press thingy?” CB97 asks.

“The one with the tones and you have to copy it.”

“Guys, vote for Cloud,” Seungmin says.

“No, don’t,” Felix says. He tries to control his tone, but his competitive nature is in the driver’s seat right now. He leans forward in his chair, shoulders tense. “Seungmin, it was bad timing. Listen to me. Come on, some of you have known me for nearly a decade—”

“Baby, this appeal never works,” Hyunjin says.

“Do I sound like I’m lying?” Felix asks. “I am a fool for not reporting right away, but I’m not the imposter.”

“Well…” Jeongin says.

“Hmm, fine,” Hyunjin says. “I’m convinced.”

“He did this last time we played together,” Chenle says. 

“No!” Felix says. 

“Did he?” Minho asks. “Was anyone else in reactor? Can anyone vouch for SpearB?” No one can. Ten seconds left.

“Cloud did this last time, and it was a lie,” Chenle says. Felix keeps himself from swearing at his friend. This stream is family friendly, so he has to watch his mouth. The time runs out.

Three for Felix, two for SpearB, and three skipped. Felix takes a deep breath. He lives. The next round begins. His chat teases him about getting emotional. “I know, I know.” He goes back to electrical to get his task done. “Wait, if ZongZhong was throwing sus on me that hard, he’s probably the other one, right?” Chat agrees with him. “And yeah, I should go find a buddy.”

He finds Seungmin in the hall outside security. The moment Felix comes into view, Seungmin leaves the task he was standing in front of. Felix follows him all the way to cafeteria, where Seungmin calls an emergency meeting.

“It’s Cloud!” Seungmin says. 

“Not this again,” Felix groans. 

“He chased me for like thirty seconds!”

“I need friends!”

“Guys, J.One is dead,” Jeongin says. 

“Avenge me,” J.One calls from beyond the grave. Everyone laughs.

“Where was everybody?” They give their locations.

“Storage,” SpearB says. “I have to fuel the engines, but I keep getting interrupted.”

“So did you already finish the button press thingy?” CB97 asks.

“Uh, yeah.”

“Hmm, it’s SpearB.”

“What? How?” Hyunjin asks.

“I dunno, it’s in his voice,” CB97 says. “He’s always been pretty bad at lying. This is your first imposter round, right?”

“No,” SpearB says, and now even Felix can hear something off. The votes cascade until only SpearB is left.

“You can vote for yourself,” Felix says. 

“I’m innocent.”

“We have to trust the judgment of the best friend,” Felix says. “Also, I did see you vent.”

“Not fair,” SpearB says as he’s ejected.

The game ends after the next round, a loss for SpearB and Chenle. “Break time?” Seungmin asks. A couple people agree so they go on break. Felix gets up to stretch but is back in his seat soon after.

“Any thoughts?” Felix asks his chat. “Yeah, they’re doing pretty well so far, though I think only SpearB got imposter that one time. Oh, you think I should flirt my way out of suspicion? That doesn’t work with Seungmin, even if I could. Ohh, you meant with CB. Yeah, no. Not happening. We’re streaming together, isn’t that enough?”

Speaking of, CB is the second one to come back. “CB, how is it so far?”

“Oh, uh, good!” Felix pulls up his stream and sees how flustered he looks. “Anyone else back yet?”

“Not yet,” Felix says. “You stay quiet during discussions.”

“Honestly, I just don’t know what to contribute. Chat is getting on to me about it too.”

“If you start talking now, it might seem sus,” Jeongin says, joining them.

“Really?”

The others slowly come back in, and Felix starts the game. Crewmate still. Felix sighs and goes about his tasks. He starts in weapons and sees J.One at the top of the room doing a task. Then he goes to navigation. Predictably, there is a body in the room. He clicks report. 

The meeting starts in silence. Hyunjin is the only one who is dead, so Felix can afford to have a little fun and see if he can get his crush to talk a little more. “CB,” Felix starts.

“Yes?” He sounds nervous.

“How are you doing tonight?” A few people laugh.

“Uh, good? I think?” He laughs. “Why?”

“No reason, just asking.” Felix doesn’t have the confidence to continue this too nonchalantly. He needs an excuse, so he decides to make it about their guests instead of his crush. “SpearB, what about you?”

“Are you going to tell us anything about the body or not?” Minho asks.

“We have time. I want to check on our guests,” Felix says. Minho votes.

“I’m doing fine. Thanks for asking,” SpearB says. 

“And J.One?” Felix asks.

“Great! Doing great,” he says, tone wavering. Oh?

“Was anyone in oxygen, shields, or communication just now?” Felix asks.

“Ah, finally, information,” Chenle says. Everyone says they were on the left side.

“Then it was J.One,” Felix says with only ten seconds left. “Body was in nav, and I saw J.One in weapons. He must have killed and then vented.”

The last-minute announcement means that only a few people vote, two for J.One and then Minho’s vote for Felix. “Poor 3RACHA can’t have a good imposter run,” Jeongin says. The game continues, and the crew wins on tasks.

“I’ll add more tasks,” Felix says between games. They all agree on the new arrangement. Felix starts the next game.

His heart drops when he sees ‘Imposter’ flash on the screen—with CB nonetheless. Felix looks directly at his camera and says, “You better not lose this for us.” Chat goes wild and Felix can hear notifications for donations, but his focus is on the game. 

He hits lights and heads to electrical. Lights are fixed by the time he gets there. He lingers in the room with a few other people, pretending to do tasks. He hasn’t seen CB around, but that’s good this early in the game.

Everyone leaves electrical with no opportunities to kill. His cooldown is up, so he gets in the vent and goes to medical. Seungmin, alone. Perfect. He gets out and kills. Just as he gets back in the vent, a body is reported.

“Dead Zong in communications,” CB says. Felix stiffens. 

“A self-report? That’s bold,” Felix says to his chat. He presses the button to talk. “I was on the left side. Didn’t see anyone else.” His tone came out even, and he applauds himself.

“Like four people were in electrical until a few seconds ago,” Minho says. 

They talk until the time runs out, but no one votes for anyone.

“Do you think he knows what a double-kill is?” Felix asks. His chat offers no consensus or advice. “Never mind then.” Felix goes to the right side and sabotages reactor when his cooldown is up. He kills SpearB in weapons on the way to reactor.

He gets to reactor when Minho reports the body. “Our poor guest is dead in weapons.”

“Oh, it’s a self-report then,” Hyunjin says. Felix sits up straight and flashes a smile at the camera.

“What?”

“Everyone else was at reactor,” Hyunjin says. And everyone else agrees to that. “Bad timing to report that. Also, Seungmin is dead already, so I’m assuming that this is part of your weird rivalry with him.”

“I only killed him once tonight!” Everyone votes. “This is a mistake, and you’re going to have two imposters left with six people—one double-kill and they win!” He has the sense not to keep talking after his character is ejected. The next round starts.

“Golden number,” Felix says. “The question is, does he know what a double-kill is?”

Maybe he does, because CB sticks by him. Felix sabotages reactor when the emergency meeting button cooldown is about to be up. They walk over together, converging paths with Jeongin and DaikiKo. They’re perfectly lined up, and Felix hits the kill button. 

His breath stops when he sees Jeongin double back to report. Is he not going to get it in time? Felix is about to yell, but CB comes through and stabs Jeongin before he can report. The victory screen appears.

“Oh, thank God,” Felix says as the others voice their displeasure.

“You self-reported your first kill?” Minho asks. “I don’t know if that’s bold or stupid.”

“I panicked!” CB says. 

“You sounded great,” Felix says. His skin flushes at how that statement could be taken. “Like, your tone was calm.”

“And at the end, Cloud, seriously?” CB asks.

“Easiest way to win when there’s six left with both imposters. Come on, haven’t you picked that up by now?”

“He’s not a quick learner,” J.One says.

“Hey!”

“Also, I can’t believe CB called SpearB out by the tone of his voice, but SpearB can’t do that on a self-report?” Hyunjin teases.

“CB, did you get us invited here to get bullied?” SpearB asks.

“I’m having fun,” CB says.

They play through several more rounds. Felix gets another imposter round with Seungmin, but he botches his first kill and gets voted out immediately. Seungmin tries his hardest, but the crewmates figure it out at the last chance.

They take their second break, and once again Felix is back first with CB to keep him company. “It’s funny how Seungmin is the only one without a screen name,” CB says.

“I guess so,” Felix says. “He started streaming write-ins, since he’s an author. He used the same name he publishes under because branding. What about you? Why did you choose what is arguably the weirdest rapper name?” CB laughs.

“Honestly, I couldn’t think of anything. All my naming abilities went in to coming up with ‘3RACHA’. We gave ourselves a deadline, and when the time came, all I had was my initials and my birth year.”

“Ah, okay.”

“Where does ‘CloudYong’ come from? If I can ask, anyway.”

“Seriously, you didn’t even bother reading my wiki before streaming together?” 

“Sorry.”

“No worries, I’m teasing. ‘Yong’ is from my Korean name, and—”

“You’re Korean?”

“Yeah. My grandfather named me Lee Yongbok, but since we lived in Australia, my parents named me Felix.”

“Felix,” he repeats, and Felix practically shivers from hearing him say it, the thoughtful cadence across the syllable and the Aussie accent curving the vowels. “And what about Cloud?”

“Oh, I had a major _Final Fantasy_ phase in middle school. ‘CloudYong’ was my XBOX username, and I kept it when I started making content.”

“No way,” CB says. “You like _Final Fantasy_?”

“Of course.”

“That’s probably my favorite game. Honestly, I kinda had a crush on Cloud when I was younger.”

“Well, he is a very hot cartoon character.” Felix tries to keep his tone even because those words made him feel something. He eyes the camera, happy that the only visible reaction he’s having is the light blush on his cheeks. “I’d be surprised if any _Final Fantasy_ fan didn’t have a crush on him at one point when they were younger.”

“Are we reminiscing?” Hyunjin asks. “Cloud Strife is very hot.”

“We’re talking about screen names. CB was asking about them.”

“Mine is my old dog’s name, Kkomi, and then the last syllable of my name,” Hyunjin says. “I thought it sounded cute.”

“I.N’s is kind of complicated,” Felix says. “I.N from his name, and then FoxTrot because he looks like a fox and he’s into trot music. ‘I.N’ is kind of guaranteed to already be taken, so FoxTrot on the end.”

“Mine’s my name from when I lived in Japan,” DaikiKo says.

“You lived in Japan?” CB asks. They exchange a few phrases in Japanese that Felix can’t understand, but Felix does enjoy how hot CB sounds speaking the language.

“ZongZhong is Chinese for ‘President Zhong’ or something like that,” Felix says. 

“And then ‘Lee Know’ is a play on his real name,” Hyunjin says. 

“J.One and SpearB were smart enough to come up with plays on their real names,” CB says.

“How rare to receive praise from CB,” SpearB jokes. Chenle and Jeongin are still away, so Felix continues the conversation.

“Since we gave away our secrets,” Felix says. “Can we get 3RACHA spoilers?”

“You’re such a 3RACHA stan,” Hyunjin says. Felix shrugs.

“Well, we can say—” CB starts.

“Uh, no?” SpearB says. “We don’t do spoils, right CB?”

“Right, sorry,” CB says. 

“He’s been charmed,” J.One says dramatically. “Who knew that playing a game about stabbing your friends and lying to them would build trust like this.”

“So no spoils?” Felix asks. “Even if we reach the charity goal tonight?” No one answers immediately.

“What are we at so far?” SpearB asks. Felix pulls up CB’s stream.

“Uhh, currency conversion, one second,” Felix says. He types some things and then says, “so the goal is ten thousand Australian dollars, and we’re about three thousand off.”

“Okay, then that sounds like a deal,” SpearB says. J.One and CB agree.

“If everyone’s here, then we can start the next game,” Felix says. Everybody voices their presence, so Felix hits ‘start’.

They play for the next hour. Felix gets imposter one more time with Jeongin, and they worked well together to finish quickly. The donation goal is surpassed forty minutes in, so J.One performs two lines from an upcoming release. Eventually, it comes to an end.

“Cloud, shouldn’t you be going to bed soon?” Hyunjin asks. “Seungmin, too.”

“It’s Saturday, we’re fine,” Felix says around a yawn. 

“What’s the time zone difference with Sydney again?” 

“It’s two in the morning over there,” CB says. “Why are you still up?”

“We’re having fun,” Felix says. “And ZongZhong needed us to start late.”

“Sorry,” Chenle says.

“Don’t, we’re fine,” Felix says.

“You sound tired,” Hyunjin says.

“I’m done for the evening,” Minho says.

“Same,” Jeongin says.

“It is getting late,” Seungmin says. 

“You can’t play if we all quit!” Hyunjin says. Felix sighs.

“Fine,” Felix says. “3RACHA, thank you for joining us.”

“Thanks for having us,” SpearB says. 

The group says their farewells and the Discord call ends. Felix says goodbye to his chat, thanking them for all the donations and subscriptions. He cuts the camera and slumps back in his chair. That was… something.

Before turning in for the night, Felix uploads the VOD for the stream, editing most of the pre-stream wait out. Notifications blink about the donations, but he’ll deal with those tomorrow after sleeping. He thanks his mods and scans over the parts of the stream they clipped. It’s too embarrassing to think about, so makes the obvious choice of having the double-kill with CB as the stream highlight. That’s enough work for now.

He takes his headphones off and leaves his studio. Sleeping sounds nice, since his body is so tired. But his mind is racing, overwhelmed with having just spent over three hours playing a game with his celebrity crush. He changes into comfortable clothes and lays on his bed, too tired to do anything else. Sleep considers coming to him but is interrupted by his phone chiming with a notification.

Felix rolls over and grabs his phone from his nightstand. His heart skips a beat when he sees it’s from CB. He fumbles through his apps until he can open Discord.

 **CB97:** Thanks :) I had fun tonight

The old-school emoji makes Felix’s heart hurt. His mind is too tired to consider what he’s typing, though he does worry it won’t be taken any sort of way.

 **CloudYong:** I had fun too!  
**CloudYong:** If you ever want to play again, lmk 😊

That is definitely enough work for tonight. Felix turns on do-not-disturb and promptly passes out before he can start squealing about CB messaging him a fucking smiley face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am absolutely disgusted at the fact that I wrote the whole Among Us scene without referencing the map, tasks, etc, once. I’ve spent way too much time watching Among Us gameplay


	3. Chapter 3

Chan sits in front of his computer for a long time after the stream is over. There was all that conversation about how late it is, but now is about when Chan usually starts being productive. Tonight, though, he’s not being productive. He’s staring at his screen, trying to figure out the perfect message to send to Cloud over Discord. 

He finally sends the blandest, most basic thing he can think of. There is something tugging on his heart, but he hasn’t examined it enough to know what words he wants to actually say. That voice is stuck in his head, deep and rough except when he gets excited, a pull like running on gravel, and a thick, working-class accent that Chan hasn’t heard in years.

His phone is going off with messages.

 **A.Jisung:** Awww, Channie Hyung has a crush~  
**A.Changbin:** They were so obvious between games  
**A.Jisung:** I can’t blame him, Cloud is really cute  
**A.Changbin:** Sure, I guess I’m too straight for this  
**A.Jisung:** Really? You definitely had a reaction when he spoke the first time  
**A.Changbin:** tbh I was surprised that it was so deep  
**A.Changbin:** It wasn’t cause I was attracted  
**A.Jisung:** Uh huh  
**A.Changbin:** I have a girlfriend?  
**Chan:** What did I miss??  
**Chan:** And I don’t have a crush!  
**Chan:** Also, how do you know he’s cute?  
**A.Jisung:** Face cam??  
**A.Jisung:** Oh right, you didn’t watch any of his content

Chan ignores the rest of their messages and pulls up Cloud’s profile. The VOD from the stream they just did an hour ago is already up. He clicks on it before the preview shows. He skips the pre-stream, and his breath catches.

 _Cute_ is the right word to describe Felix. His face is heart-shaped, framed by disheveled, bleached-white hair. Freckles dust across his cheeks and around his round eyes. He smiles with his teeth, slightly crooked in a way that makes him look feline. The look is only highlighted by the fucking cat ear headphones, quartz colored with RGB flashing on the ears.

Whipped. That is the right word to describe Chan. Shit, this guy is cute. Chan’s hands are shaking as he scrubs through the VOD. Can he find the part where Felix got upset from his competitiveness? It was cute to hear, but Chan wants to see his expression while he defends himself. He goes too far and ends up where they took their first break, Felix sitting there with his knee folded up against his chest.

“Oh, you think I should flirt my way out of suspicion? That doesn’t work with Seungmin, even if I could. Ohh, you meant with CB. Yeah, no. Not happening. We’re streaming together, isn’t that enough?”

Chan covers his face, even though there’s no one else in the room. He pauses the video so he can look through the chat. Scrolling up a little shows that a lot of people called Chan Felix’s ‘crush’. He still can’t tell if the ‘crush’ thing from the fans is an elaborate joke or not. Chan resolves to find the answer.

He switches over to his undercover Twitter account and self-searches. There are several tweets about the _Among Us_ stream. Maybe a third of the tweets feature Cloud, with a large portion of those being about Chan’s embarrassing reaction to his voice. Chan couldn’t help his reaction—he may or may not have a thing for deep voices. He picks a random tweet and replies to it.

_Wait, idk Cloud, does he really have a crush on cb?_

The reply comes immediately.

_Who knows really, he could be playing it up for the cameras, but he does clearly stan 3racha and always acts pretty thirsty for cb_

The reply is only more confusing, but it makes sense. Chan sighs. He asks himself why he cares so much, but he knows already. He just doesn’t want to admit it out loud, where it takes on a more solid truth. The only question left is what Chan is going to do about it.

Felix is in the middle of his weekly Tuesday evening stream. He’s floating around creative mode, working on a noteblock arrangement of an old 80s pop song. It’s supposed to be a chill stream, so he spends most of his time focused on chat, taking far longer on the arrangement than he would otherwise need to.

He hasn’t talked to CB since the message Felix sent before going to sleep. On numerous occasions, Felix felt inclined to send a relatable meme to CB or even just a greeting. But he always deleted before he sent them. He’s too worried about coming off creepy, especially when it would be so easy for CB to find clips or gif sets of Felix being just a little too thirsty for him.

“Okay, all that’s left is the melody for the chorus,” Felix says. He fixes his inventory and gets started. 

He’s answering some chat questions when he gets the notification for a raid. “Oh, we have a raid from… CB97?” Felix frowns as the viewers come in. “You don’t stream on Tuesdays.” He snaps his mouth shut. Did he really just admit to knowing his schedule off the top of his head? “Uh, welcome.”

 _Hey hey, I have no idea what youre doing here, but I just got done!_ a chat message from CB reads. Is he going to stick around? 

“Mods, can we make CB97 a VIP member of the channel, please?” Felix asks before turning his attention back to the game. “And have you never played _Minecraft_ before? You’re an adult.”

 _Ive never played, but Id be open to learning if someone wants to teach me_ , CB says, a fresh new VIP badge next to his name.

Felix reads out the message and replies on impulse. “If you ever want to stream more games, we could do a tutorial let’s play together.” Chat goes wild, spamming support for the idea and offering predictions. “Oh yeah, he’d probably die on the first night. But I’ll be there to pick up the pieces.”

 _So what are you doing here? Explain it for me?_ CB asks.

“Explain it for you? Well, this is music stuff, so it might be interesting to you.” Felix navigates to an open space so he can demonstrate while he talks. “These make notes when they’re powered. Power can only be timed in duple, with basically no variation in tempo. The material beneath it determines what the sound will be. There are like… twelve different types of instruments? I don’t know. I lose track.”

CB doesn’t chat anything else, and Felix doesn’t worry himself with seeing if he’s stayed or left. He focuses on finishing the song. “There we go,” Felix says. He connects the last of the redstone and flips the switch. He lets it play without talking over it, though he hears the chimes announcing donations. “Perfect.” Felix reads the praise in chat while he takes a sip of water. “Okay, one more song and then I’m done for the day. Any requests?”

There is overwhelming demand for a 3RACHA song. “Seriously?” Felix shakes his head, but chat persists. He’s about to pick one of the non-3RACHA suggestions—any of them, really—when he sees that VIP member badge.

 _We Go?_ CB requests. So he’s still watching. Felix bites his lip, but he sighs.

“Fine,” Felix says. “Just this once, okay?” He goes to a clear area and empties his inventory. “How does the beginning go again?” Felix can only recall the hook, so he sings it under his breath while he tries to remember the intro. “I’m not prepared for this!”

He fixes his applications until he can play the song through his headphones but not through the stream. He hums along with it, trying to discern the notes. “Okay, okay, we can do this.” Felix goes back to the game and gets started.

It takes some guess work to find the first note, but he can build around that easy enough. “I’m only going to do the intro and the hook, since rapping is hard to translate here,” Felix says. He makes slow progress. 

Discord notifies him of a message, and Felix glances over to see CB’s username. He opens it and sees chords for the song. Below it is a second message saying, _you have a nice voice when you sing_. Felix smiles to himself. “He sent me the chords,” Felix says. “What a gentleman.”

The chords make the work go faster, especially when Chan sends the notes for the melody. Felix is tired by the end of it. He double checks his work. “Ready?” Felix asks. The suspension builds before he flips the switch.

The short section plays through, each note perfectly in place. Felix lets out the breath he was holding. “Happy, CB?” Felix asks. He stares at chat until he sees the response.

_Very_

Felix smiles at the praise. “Alright, I said that was the last one.” He looks through the list of active streamers he knows. “How about we go pay a visit to I.N.FoxTrot? He’s paying _Overwatch_ right now.” He thanks everyone one last time before sending them over.

The camera cuts, and Felix eases back into his chair. Tuesday streams are supposed to be relaxing, but CB had to come in and make him fell all… _whatever_. Tense? Excited? Felix can’t separate the emotions anymore. It was different when he was pining from afar. This new experience is a little too intense. His body tenses again when he hears the Discord notification. 

**CB97:** Hey :)

A small smile pulls at his lips. That damn smiley face.

 **CloudYong:** Hey! Did you enjoy the stream?  
**CB97:** Yeah, I did  
**CB97:** I hope I didn’t put you on the spot or anything  
**CB97:** Sorry about it

Felix stares at the message. He isn’t quite sure how to respond. Did he seem put-out by it? What’s the best way to reassure him? 

**CB97:** Can I ask to voice call?  
**CB97:** I’m not good over messaging

Chan almost falls out of his chair when he sees the incoming call from Felix. So he didn’t fuck up, or at least Felix is willing to give him a chance. Chan fixes his headset and accepts the call.

“Hello?” he says into the void.

“Hey.” Felix’s voice is just how it was when was streaming a moment ago, worn from talking for so long but still intoxicating. “And, uh, it’s good. It was nice having you join! I guess I was kind of surprised to see you.”

“Oh, okay, just wanted to make sure,” Chan says. “I get the feeling that there’s some overlap in our fanbase, so I thought I’d give you a raid and the viewers might enjoy it.”

“I suppose there’s at least some overlap,” Felix says, sounding reserved. 

“Also, how do you know how to do that? Even before I sent the chords, you were getting the notes.”

“My mum taught me piano when I was young. It’s good for relative pitch, though I can’t play too well anymore.”

“That’s so cool,” Chan says. Musically inclined is always a good thing. “And your voice sounds really good when you’re singing.” It had been a bit of a surprise, hearing Felix sing his lines, even just a short part.

“Thanks,” Felix says after a beat of silence. “Sorry, if I’m out of it. I was on for over two hours, so I’m kinda tired.”

“We don’t have to talk, if you want to go rest,” Chan says. Why did he ask to call him, like a weirdo?

“No, I want to talk with you,” Felix says. “What do you want to talk about, CB?”

“You can call me Chan,” he says. Silence. “Or Chris if you prefer that. Jisung and Changbin don’t use my stage name when we’re talking in private.”

“Okay, Chan,” Felix says, voice like velvet. “And you can call me Felix, in case you want to keep ‘Cloud’ for your crush.” Chan freezes.

“Oh, Cloud Strife,” Chan says. “Right.” His ears are pink, from the misunderstanding and from the shame of Chan having called Felix by his real name in his head before this.

“Did you think I meant something else?” Felix asks.

“No,” Chan says quickly. “And, uh, it was cool seeing you work. Us playing together isn’t the same as watching you solo.”

“Yeah? You had fun even though you’ve never played _Minecraft_ before?”

“You have a good personality for streaming,” Chan says. “And you’re professional. Like, I’ve watched other streamers, and… I don’t know, you’re fun.”

“Fun.” Chan can practically hear the smile in his voice, and he wishes he asked to video call.

“Yeah, like, you’re expressive and charming, and the cute headphones—”

“Cute headphones?” Chan curses himself for rambling.

“They suit you,” Chan says, trying to keep his tone even. He never did get a chance to practice lying to Felix in their stream together. 

“Is it the flashing colors or the cat ears?” His voice has edged into its lower range, and Chan is not ready for this. Is Felix doing this on purpose?

“Both?” Chan says, unsure. 

“I wear them all the time, but you’d know that if you watched any of my streams.”

“I didn’t want to have an unfair advantage.”

“You’re so honorable.”

“That’s kind of you.”

“No, accept the compliment.” Chan is shocked by the seriousness in his voice. 

“Uh, sure? 

“There’s a reason people tune in to your just-chatting streams, and it’s not only ‘cause your music is good.” Never mind, it’s a good thing they aren’t doing video chat because his whole face is red.

“Thanks,” Chan says, just loud enough for it to be picked up by the mic.

“Good,” Felix says. “And, by the way, my fans have been demanding we play _Among Us_ with that group again.”

“Really?”

“Like it’s every comment on the last video I posted, and I’ve been tagged in at least fifty tweets asking about our next stream with 3RACHA.” It makes Chan want to ask Felix about his fans shipping them, but that feels too forward. “So…?”

“I’d love to—we’d, I have to ask them,” Chan says. “But they had fun, so I’m sure they’d say yes. We don’t have any particular schedule for the week.”

“Alright, I’ll ask the others if they’re interested,” Felix says. “Should we do Saturday again?”

“If everyone is free then.” 

Twice sounds too good to be true. Maybe Chan can figure out if this is a real crush or some passing infatuation with a husky voice and cat ears.

Somehow, Felix convinced his friends to get together again with four days’ notice. Hyunjin said it was because they’re all romantics and want Felix to succeed. Felix isn’t quite so sure about that—he’s still unsure if he can call his last conversation with Chan flirting—even as he sets up his stream and the lobby. He’s not as worried about 3RACHA handling the logistics, so he chills in the lobby as the others join.

“Hello, everyone,” Felix says to his chat. He runs through his intro and makes small talk with them until the lobby is mostly filled.

“Are the two love birds going to get an imposter win again tonight?” Minho asks.

“I don’t think Cloud and I got imposter together last time,” Hyunjin says.

“I wasn’t talking about you.”

“Who are we waiting on?” Felix asks before Minho can elaborate. He looks at the Discord server and tries to figure out who is missing. Then Seungmin’s name appears. “There he is. How do we feel about the rules?”

No one asks for any changes, so Felix starts the game. The first few games go smoothly. Felix wins his imposter game with J.One, more because of luck than skill. His chat calls him out for ‘flirting’ with Chan between games.

“We’re not flirting,” Felix says. He’s going about doing his tasks, no clue who the imposters could be because he wasn’t paying attention during the first discussion. The conversation is even more pertinent since he’s been running around on the right side with Chan for the past minute. “CB and I are just joking around. And look, sure, we’re buddied up right now, but it’s not a date. I need an alibi so I don’t get falsely accused. We can trust him, right? He’ll definitely vouch for me next—”

Felix sits there with his mouth perfectly open as the kill animation plays on the screen, showing his character getting impaled through his face by a spear-tongue. Chan is gone in the vent. “No! I trusted you!” he yells, his whole body reacting with the anger, but trying not to move out of view of the camera. It’s lucky he lives alone, or any roommates would probably complain about the noise. “How could you?” he asks, much quieter. He flicks his gaze to chat and sees a flurry of ‘f’s and other condolences. 

He slumps back in his chair and pouts. “Never before have I been so betrayed,” Felix says. He sighs and tries to calm his heart. He puts his hands back on the keyboard and mouse and gets back to his tasks.

J.One reports his body. “Cloud is dead next to shields. I came from the left and saw nothing.”

“Aww, baby,” Hyunjin says. Everyone gives their locations.

“And I was in, uh, weapons,” Chan says.

“…bro,” SpearB says.

“Yeah, it’s obvious that CB killed him,” J.One says. They both cast their votes. “And I thought you liked him.”

“I do not!” Chan says. A laugh somehow breaks through Felix’s anger.

“Cute,” Felix says under his breath, and then immediately regrets it. He makes a point to not look at chat.

“Are we voting out CB?” Minho asks.

“It’s our best bet,” SpearB says. A couple more votes are cast, and Chan is voted out.

When the next round starts, Felix types in the ghost chat. _I trusted you_. He goes back to his tasks. Felix is still too emotional to properly focus, so he just floats around and rambles to chat. They can’t win with one imposter when there’re seven crewmates left, anyway.

Except, somehow, the crewmates fall into bickering and start voting each other out. Every time someone gets ejected, Felix waits to see the victory screen. It never comes though, and the imposter gets his last kill.

“You’re kidding,” Felix says. His hits his fist on the desk. “You’re kidding!”

“CB, thank you for all the help,” Seungmin says. 

“Sorry, Seungmin,” Chan says. “And, uh, sorry Cloud.” 

“I reject your apology,” Felix says. “We were buddies the whole round and then you stuck your tongue in my face!”

He only realizes what he said when he’s met with silence. “Oh my god,” Felix groans to his chat. 

“We don’t need to hear about what you get up to when you’re alone,” Minho says, unbothered.

“I-I didn’t mean it like that,” Felix says, barely able to press the button to talk. At least Chan doesn’t make any comment. 

“You must have gotten flustered,” Jeongin says.

“Too competitive,” Hyunjin says.

“You’re as competitive as I am,” Felix says. He takes a deep breath. “Next game? Or do we want to take a break?”

“Sounds like you want to take a break,” Chenle says.

“A break would be nice,” SpearB says.

Felix spends the break regaining his composure. He considers messaging Chan, but he doesn’t even know what he wants to say. The rest of the night passes with Felix a little checked-out. That outburst is definitely getting clipped. They sign-off earlier than the last time.

He goes through his end of stream procedure, managing the VOD and the clips. Felix is about to leave his studio when he sees the Discord message. He blinks his eyes, unsure of what he’s seeing.

 _Voice call?_ Chan asks.

Felix answers yes without even thinking. He has a few seconds of panic before the _incoming call_ message appears. Felix accepts it.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Felix,” Chan says. There’s enough adrenaline from the game that he can use a confident tone. Chan was too nervous, too vague in their last chat, and he wants it to be more obvious this time.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry about what I said,” Felix says. “The whole, ‘tongue in my face thing.’” Chan laughs, his ears pink. He had been taking a drink of water when Felix said that, and he had to fight to not spit it out all over his keyboard. Even if he weren’t almost choking at the time, he doesn’t think he could have managed any sort of response. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Chan says. “Sorry for killing you like that.”

“It’s fine,” Felix says. “It’s like Jin said, I’m too competitive sometimes. 

“Oh, about that,” Chan starts. He pauses, unsure if he should even ask this. Forward. He’s being forward tonight, so he has to.

“Yeah?”

“Are you and Jin dating?” The tension leaves his shoulders when Felix laughs.

“No, we’ve just known each other for a long time, and he calls most people he’s close with ‘baby’, like Seungmin and I.N. Us four grew up together, sort of.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I moved to America when I was like twelve, and I met the three of them. After I moved back to Australia, we stayed in touch.” It explains their American accents, even though Chan has seen them upload content in Korean. “Now Jin and I.N are in Korea, and Seungmin joined me here. But, uh, yeah. Don’t worry about Jin. I’m single.”

“I wasn’t worried.” And he wasn’t really worried. Just wondering. He wouldn’t want to make any sort of move if Felix were seeing someone. 

“By the way, I’m going to assume J.One usually gives you a lot of shit?”

“They both do.”

“Sooo, when J.One said you liked me, he was giving you shit?” Chan can’t tell if he sounds hopeful or concerned. Can Chan ask to video call? He settles on redirection first.

“It was the same as when Lee Know made that comment after you said you wanted me to stick my tongue in your face.” If Felix knows that comment was based on something true, then he can assume Chan does like him. If not, then Chan doesn’t have to confess just yet. It’s a delicate game he’s trying to play.

“I did not say that,” Felix grumbles. “I said nothing about wanting anything.”

“I don’t know, it seemed like interesting word choice to explain that animation.” The silence that follows makes Chan’s heart rate quicken. 

“Chan,” Felix says, his tone soft and serious. “Is it too much to ask to video call?”

“Like, what are you wanting?” Chan isn’t sure if his intentions are being read properly. He doesn’t want to imply anything too forward. He wants to be just forward enough to maybe get Felix to go out with him.

“I want to see you when you’re saying these sorts of things to me,” Felix says, somehow sounding innocent and suggestive at the same time. 

Chan has to catch his breath. He searches for the icon to start a video call. Shit, he doesn’t want Felix to get anxious because he’s making him wait. Where is it? Chan finally finds it and sends the request. A moment later, Felix’s face appears on his screen. He smiles and says, “What took you so long?”

“Oh shit,” is all Chan can say. He wasn’t prepared for this.

“What?” Felix leans forward, hands cupping his chin to prop up his head.

“Nothing, I just… forgot.” Chan has no idea what words are about to escape his mouth. “It was easy when I was watching your stream a few days ago, where the image is so small in the corner, but here, I can see you clearer.” Felix shies away, his cheeks dark red. “Sorry, that was weird. You’re just so pretty and I forget how to talk sometimes. Most times.”

“You think I’m pretty?” Felix asks, the words coming out breathy. Now Chan is blushing, heat all over his body.

“Sorry, I was being too forward.”

“No, you weren’t,” Felix says. He keeps his gaze down to avoid Chan’s. “What do you think is… pretty?” He barely gets the words out, and they laugh together.

“Your freckles,” Chan says. “That’s the first thing I noticed, honestly. And your eyes and your smile. Your hair is pretty too, that color suits you. Even though it’s bleached, it looks so soft.”

“It is soft,” Felix murmurs.

Chan can’t respond, because Felix pushes his headset down to his neck and runs his fingers through his hair. They glide across easily, not a single strand catching or breaking. Chan has to actively remember to keep his mouth closed and to not breathe so heavily, even as Felix smirks, gathering the longer ends at the back and turning to the side to show it off. _Gorgeous_. Felix replaces his headset and fixes his mic.

“I like it when people play with my hair,” Felix says, practically whispering the words.

“Would, would you like it if I played with your hair?” Chan cringes at his words, but he relaxes when Felix smiles.

“I would really like that.”

“Wow.” Chan winces. He wasn’t meaning to say that out loud.

“I kind of want to kiss you right now,” Felix says, leaning in close. Chan breathes in sharply. He switches his demeanor as if he's confident.

“Oh, now you want me to stick my—”

“Oh my God.” Felix leans away, rolling his eyes with every fiber of his being. Chan sobers from his teasing tone. 

“Was it true then, what I heard? That you have a crush on me?”

“Ah, seriously.”

“I know not to necessarily believe what fans say, and we all say things non-seriously on camera, and—”

“Well, I meant it seriously. I do like you.” Chan sits there with the dumbest smile on his face.

“Good. ‘Cause I like you too.”

“Really?” Felix sits back, his own broad smile on his face. This is too surreal.

“Yeah, and I was, uh, wondering,” Chan starts. Here he goes. “Since I’m visiting my family in Sydney in a couple weeks—can I take you out on a date?” Felix’s eyes light up.

“Please do.” Chan laughs with him.

“Glad you’re enthusiastic.”

“How could I not be when it’s about you?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” Chan says. “Since you know the area better, we can do something you want? Or, you can give me the zip code, and I can find something for us to do—I asked you out, so I should do the work, right? I can drive over, since my parents kind of live outside the city, and then we can meet if I can pick you up, or—”

“Chan, how about afternoon coffee?” Felix asks, saving Chan from his rambling. “There’s a good café near my apartment. And you can pick me up. I trust you enough.”

“Okay, I’ll let you know when I’m in Australia, and we can figure out the rest of the details.”

“Sounds good. For now, are there other things to talk about?”

“No, I’m trying to say that I’m going to let you go to bed,” Chan says. “It’s past midnight.” Felix pouts.

“Fine. Talk later?”

“Yeah, later. Goodnight, sleep well.”

“You too.” Felix waves to him and ends the call.

Chan lets out the breath he was holding. Two weeks is a long time to wait, but it’s also a long time to plan. Chan wants their date to be perfect. He kind of wants to message Felix’s friends to ask for help, but he doesn’t want to let them in on this information without first getting Felix’s permission. He won’t even tell Jisung or Changbin. If everything works out, then they can tell them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here is where I confess that the closest I've come to playing Final Fantasy is Crystal Bearers and Kingdom Hearts


	4. Chapter 4

Felix paces in his apartment. A little over two weeks has given him enough time to be anxious. Chan should be here any minute. Felix made sure to be ready well-ahead of time, picking out white pants and a pink, short-sleeved shirt with a sheer texture. Chan’s favorite words for talking about Felix seem to be ‘pretty’ and ‘cute’, so Felix leans into it, even wearing a heart choker with a white band. It’s more fem than he normally wears on a first date, but he thinks Chan might like it. He’ll get to find out soon, since his phone goes off with a message from Chan. 

_Here_

Felix curses to himself. He double-checks to make sure he has all his things, then heads out. He rushes down the stairs and exits the apartment building. Felix looks around the street until his eyes find a familiar figure getting out of a car.

His breath catches. Felix has really only seen Chan in the casual wear he streams in—all black hoodies and athletic wear. He’s kept the color scheme, though his button-up shirt is navy color, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He wears silver earrings, which match Felix’s silver accessories. “Hey,” Chan says. He looks Felix up and down while he approaches, but quickly looks away. Chan being shy definitely helps Felix deal with his own nerves.

“Hey,” Felix says, breathless. He stays on the other side of the car, so Chan gestures him to get in instead of walking around to greet him. 

“How are you?” Chan asks, turning over the car. It’s a small car, dark color of course, a little old, but well-kept.

“Good,” Felix says. He gives him the first set of directions, and Chan pulls onto the road. “And you look great, by the way.” Chan smiles, dimples showing.

“Not as good as you,” Chan says. “Pink suits you.”

“I thought you’d like it,” Felix says.

“Sorry?”

“Take a right here,” Felix says. “How was your flight?”

They talk about basic things during the drive, indie rock music playing on the radio in the background. The café is a bit too far away to walk, but Felix knows the coffee is good. “Don’t worry about it, I like driving,” Chan says. “I don’t have a car in Korea, so it’s been more than a year since I’ve gotten to drive.”

“Okay, I just don’t want you to feel obligated about anything,” Felix says, hands balled up on his knees. “And you can park on the street here. The café is on this block.”

Chan finds the nearest spot and manages to parallel park. They get out and Felix leads him to the café. “I feel like I got weather whiplash,” Chan says while they walk. “It went from like negative two degrees to twenty-two degrees.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, it’s kind of—oh, this place looks nice.” Chan peeks into the windows of the old Federation style building. “It’s this, right?”

“Right,” Felix says. Chan opens the door, casually gesturing him in. From his content, Felix assumed Chan was polite, but experiencing it is a whole other thing.

“What’s good here?” Chan whispers, eyeing the menu with Felix. The inside is all refurbished antiques, live potted plants placed in front of original nature murals and exposed brick walls. 

“Something sweet or not?” Felix asks.

“I’m here with you, so I probably don’t need any more sugar.” Felix sighs, a smile on his face. 

“Caffeine or no?” He casually leans closer to Chan and slips his hand in his. Chan’s hand is warm, with a rough palm and a soft back.

“Something with espresso sounds nice.” He sounds distracted, but he doesn’t pull away. Chan only readjusts the grip so he can interlock their fingers.

“They have seasonal drinks. There is a pavlova inspired latte, strawberry flavored with a bit of the egg whites on top.”

“Seriously? Yeah, okay. What are you getting?”

“Matcha latte.” Chan steps forward and orders for them. “What are you doing? Let me pay.”

“No, I asked you out,” Chan says, handing his card to the worker. Felix pouts.

“Next time, I’ll pay.”

“There’s going to be a next time?” Chan asks.

“I’ll pay the next time there is an opportunity to pay you back.” Chan doesn’t press it. They find a table to sit at.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to insinuate anything,” Chan says, sitting across from Felix.

“You apologize a lot,” Felix says.

“Sor—” Chan closes his mouth.

“No, no, it’s fine. I was just saying, you don’t have to apologize for the little things. I’ll let you know if I’m bothered by something.” Chan considers it for a moment before nodding his head.

“Okay, I can do that.”

“Good.” Felix reaches across and sets his hand in the middle of the table. Chan stares at it. He tentatively puts his hand over Felix, letting Felix turn his hand and stroke his fingers on the inside of his wrists and palm. “You have callouses.”

“Oh, they’re from weight-lifting,” Chan says. Felix traces his eyes up Chan’s arm, to his biceps wrapped in fabric and his broad shoulders. He stops himself from imagining the sight without the shirt. He also refuses to continue the train of thought that wants to consider what those calloused hands might feel like against sensitive skin.

A worker brings them their drinks. They both marvel at the pretty latte art. Felix takes his first sip, distorting the milk flower. He smiles at the taste, but his expression drops. “Oh, shit. I told Lee Know I would take a picture the next time I came here,” Felix says. “He wanted to see the latte art.”

“Here,” Chan says, sliding his untouched mug closer. Felix laughs.

“Thank you.” Felix snaps the shot. Chan pulls the drink back, and Felix gets an idea. “How about a photo with you in it?” Chan looks at him, worrying his lower lip between his teeth. “I won’t post it unless you say I can, or send it to anyone. I didn’t even tell anyone you were coming here, or that we were going on a date. Well, I told Seungmin I was going on a date today, but he doesn’t know it’s with you.”

“You better send me the photo,” Chan says. Felix captures the cute smile Chan gives him. “And I didn’t tell anyone either. Changbin and Jisung did tease me when I said I was going to Sydney, but it wasn’t legitimate.”

“Great minds think alike,” Felix says.

“You can post the photo if you want later, with some vague caption. Fans know I’m here anyway, so they might enjoy hearing that we met up.”

“Ah yes, content,” Felix says. “Take a picture of me then.” He poses, holding his chin in his hand, head tilted. Chan takes the sight in before he even pulls his phone out.

“Beautiful,” Chan says, showing the picture to Felix. The praise makes him blush.

“Tell me about yourself, things I don’t already know from occasionally watching your streams.”

“What?”

“Come on, this can’t all be about looks,” Felix says, a smile pulling on his lips. “If we’re going to fall in love, I need to know more about you.”

“Fall in… love?” Chan shakes his head. “Okay, then let’s get to know each other.”

So they talk for far longer than it takes for them to finish their drinks, sharing funny stories, talking about their family and friends . They hold hands over the table, Felix tracing his fingers across the lines with so light a touch that Chan will occasionally shiver. Chan feeds the pavlova garnish to Felix, his fingers brushing against Felix’s lips and making them feel burned. Eventually they get up and leave, Felix still holding Chan’s hand while they walk to the car.

“Shit,” Felix says, looking at his phone.

“What?” Chan starts driving.

“Nothing—it’s Seungmin,” Felix says. “I told him I was going on a date with someone I met on the internet, so he said he’d message me to make sure I was safe. Eight missed messages and two missed calls.”

“Wow.”

“Give me a second,” Felix says. He listens to the ring for a total of half a second before Seungmin picks up.

“Are you okay?” Seungmin asks.

“I’m fine,” Felix says.

“Really? Say ‘Monday is good’ if you need me to start crying to get you out of there.”

“Seungmin, I’m fine,” Felix says. Chan glances at him. “It’s going great. He’s great. We’re in the car right now, can we stop having this conversation?”

“You’re in the car with this guy?”

“Please trust my judgement.” Seungmin sighs.

“Take care of yourself. 

“I will. And thanks for caring.”

“Of course. Bye.”

“Bye.” Felix puts his phone down and takes a deep breath.

“So?” Chan asks. 

“He got worried, but it’s alright,” Felix says. 

“Cool.” Silence settles between them. Felix knows these streets, knows they’re close to his apartment. The thought of this date being over makes Felix’s heart hurt.

“How about dinner?” Felix asks. “Like, at my apartment, since you already had to spend money. I can cook for you?”

“Oh, that sounds… great.” Chan fans his fingers over the steering wheel.

“Unless you need to go home soon.”

“Home is like an hour and fifteen-minute drive, but it’s only just now six. I have plenty of time.”

Chan follows Felix up to his apartment. Felix lets him in, conscious of everything. He cleaned before in preparation of what might happen, but his apartment is his own space, impressed with details he doesn’t even know how to verbalize. Chan takes it in without saying anything, no judgement on his face, though he shifts his weight in a nervous manner.

“What do you want to make?” Chan asks, looking over at the small kitchen. 

“Depends on what I have,” Felix says.

Chan makes a simple pasta dish. He calls it simple, but Felix still spends most of the time watching since it turns out that Felix can only barely cook while Chan is quite good at it. Felix does help, gathering the ingredients and cleaning as they go. 

“You’re hot when you cook,” Felix says, leaning against the counter while Chan whisks the cream sauce. “And you’re cute when you blush.”

“Thanks for noticing,” Chan says, an embarrassed laugh following the words. 

It turns out pretty good. Felix most certainly does not moan around the first bite. It’s just a good pasta dish which Felix would have never squeezed out of the random ingredients in his fridge. Chan demurs from the complements Felix gives, but he looks comfortable, relaxed even, sitting at the kitchen table with him, Felix’s foot hooked around Chan’s ankle.

Even the cleaning is relaxed, easy, cozy. Felix likes having him at his side, offering a hand when he needs it. He doesn’t understand how easily Chan seems to fit here. 

“I made brownies earlier,” Felix says, when they’re done cleaning. He pulls the container over and takes the lid off. “You don’t have any allergies, right?”

“None,” Chan says, eyes burning holes in the fudgy brownies.

“Good.” Chan reaches in, but Felix smacks his hand away. “Patience.” His eyes widen when Felix pinches off a piece and holds it in front of his mouth. Chan hesitates, but he opens his mouth, lets Felix push it past his lips so he can taste the richness. “Well?”

“Fucking perfect.” Felix smiles. But he’s fidgeting his fingers and biting at his lip. Chan tilts his head to the side. “What is it?”

“Can I kiss you?” Felix asks, vocal cords only just vibrating around the words. Chan stops breathing. He leans in, slow enough that Felix could change his mind. But Felix only meets him.

He tastes the sweetness of the brownies, but he smells the warm spices and orange blossom of Chan’s cologne. It’s so overwhelming together that Felix can barely process the rough drag against his lips. He reaches out, curling his fingers into the front of Chan’s shirt and pulling him closer. Chan meets him with hands on his hips. In the movements is the affection that Felix heard in his words all day, the slight gestures throughout. Felix can hardly breathe, but this moment feels more important than living.

Chan pulls away before Felix can pass out, both of them trying to catch their breath. Felix leans against him, and Chan’s arms go around his waist. The closeness has Felix feeling warm all over, perfectly settled in his embrace.

“How long did you say you were staying in Australia?” Felix asks.

“Twelve days. Today is the third day.”

“Am I being selfish if I want to see you again before you go?”

“Not in the slightest.” He slides a hand up Felix’s back, and Felix leans into it.

“Then how about you come over on Sunday night and we watch a film?” Felix asks. He comes back enough to see Chan’s reaction. He’s got that dumb smile on his face that Felix loves.

“Which film?”

“No idea,” Felix says. “I just want to be with you.”

“Then I’ll be here,” Chan says. 

They stay in embrace for a moment longer before coming apart. They meander to the front door, stretching their time as the moon rises. “One last kiss?” Chan asks, standing in the doorway.

So they kiss, Felix with his arms around Chan’s neck and Chan holding his hips again, a thumb inching under Felix’s shirt. It’s too short for either of their likings. Chan eventually does leave, promising to come back soon. 

Felix feels cold inside from the absence, but his skin burns with memories. He throws himself on the couch and covers his face with his hands. “I am _so_ fucked.”

Sunday comes around too slowly. Chan really did miss his family, but he can’t find it in himself to not come out to visit Felix again. They don’t seem to mind anyway, not even asking about who Chan’s ‘friend’ is that he needs to go see in the city.

In the city, in front of Felix’s apartment. He remembers the room from last time. Chan forces himself to a sort of calm, sort of controlled state before knocking. Felix answers the door immediately, dressed comfortably in jeans and a simple street shirt. 

He greets Chan with a hug, going on his tip toes to hang off his shoulders, as if they weren't almost the same height. “I hope I didn’t keep you waiting,” Chan says. Felix leads him into the kitchen.

“I wasn’t waiting,” Felix says. He nods his head over to the living room television. “I was trying to figure out a film to watch.” He takes a brownie out and gives it to Chan.

“So what did you decide on?” It tastes as good as it did the last time he was here. “Also, you’re such an amazing baker.”

“Seriously? Thanks.” Felix puts the brownies away and they go to the living room. “I like to bake, but I only make brownies on special occasions.”

“What’s the occasion?”

“You,” Felix says, like it’s obvious.

“Oh, right.” Chan’s ears feel hot. 

“Anything in particular you want to watch?”

“Something Australian? I’ll admit I’ve been homesick.”

“What, like _Mad Max_?”

“Maybe not that intense.” Felix searches ‘Australia’ and several films show up.

“I haven’t seen _Gallipoli_ in a while.”

“It’s about war, right?”

“Yeah, but it has some good homoeroticism, like _Top Gun_.”

“Alright, great.” Chan sits on the couch, a worn thing that’s not too soft, not too hard. Felix starts the film. He sits beside Chan awkwardly, giving him side-glances. “Fel—”

“Can I, uh, lean on you?” He starts loud but ends almost too quietly for Chan to hear.

“Of course,” Chan says, much more coolly than he feels. He holds his arm over the back of the couch, and Felix shifts over to lean against Chan. He smells like sweet chocolate, as if he had baked the brownies today and was drenched in the scent. If Chan were to kiss him somewhere other than his lips, would Felix taste sweet too? They watch the first race, Chan’s arm resting over Felix’s shoulders.

The film drags on, and Felix sets his hand on Chan’s knee. Fingers occasionally rub circles inside above the knee. It’s relaxing enough that Chan can’t focus on the film. Chan reaches his hand up to touch Felix’s hair. “Is this alright?”

“Yeah,” Felix says as a sigh. Chan idly moves his fingers through his hair. It really is soft—unfairly soft. 

Maybe halfway through, Felix droops against Chan with heavier weight. He slowly slides further down, and Chan adjusts his position so Felix’s head is in his lap. “Felix?” Chan whispers. No answer, just even breathing.

So Chan goes back to petting his hair. He traces circles with his palms and with the tips of his fingers, pushing hair around right above his ear and up to his crown. He uses his nails to comb through the strands and lightly scratch at the base of his neck. Chan finds where Felix’s hair prefers to part and carefully arranges it. Playing with Felix’s hair is more entrancing than the film. He turns the volume down when he hears Felix make a noise.

It’s not quite moaning, but it is some sound of pleasure. Felix twists further on his stomach, arms going out above his head and his cheek presses against Chan’s thigh. He looks so peaceful, so soft, and it makes Chan’s heart hurt in a good way. 

“Chan?” Felix asks, voice rough and tired.

“Yeah?”

“Sorry, ‘bout sleeping on you.” He makes no move to get up.

“It’s fine,” Chan says. It’s more than fine though. Chan loves this, the weight on his lap, the warmth radiating from Felix, the softness of his hair, the bass occasionally rumbling against his legs, and the beautiful man he gets to stare at.

“Hmm,” Felix hums. It sounds like he’s fucking purring. Felix turns a little, snaking an arm out around his torso. He opens and closes the hand next to his hip, beckoning Chan’s to his. Chan grabs his hand, and Felix places it over his hip, pushing it below his shirt.

His skin is so warm. Chan’s fingers are chilled from the air con, but they heat up in seconds. He places his free hand on Felix’s hair, and Felix purrs again, low in his stomach. Chan wonders how weird it would be to ask Felix to let him record that sound later. He inches his hand up the side of Felix’s torso. His fingertips brush across defined serratus, but Chan is not ready for that. He splays his hand out against Felix’s lower back instead.

“Tell me if you want me to stop, or if I go too far,” Chan says. 

“No,” Felix says, halfway between petulant and asleep.

So Chan traces up the outline of Felix’s spine, hands moving slowly. His shirt has been pushed to his waist by the movements, and Chan eyes the stripe of bare skin. It’s tan like the rest of Felix is, devoid of freckles but light golden nonetheless. He massages the area between his shoulder blades.

Felix shifts, and Chan moves his hands away. He rolls over, barely supporting himself above Chan’s lap. His eyes are hooded, and his hair a messy nest around his head. “Chan,” Felix whispers. He doesn’t say anything else, but he tilts his head up, and Chan meets him.

It’s burning hot, uncoordinated, and sleepy. _Raw_. That’s the word that comes through Chan’s mind, and he’s in love with it. This feels right, sitting on the couch with a dumb film playing while Felix wakes up to kiss him. It’s not even late at night for Chan, but the delicacy of the situation has him sleepy too, this fever dream of a man disarming in the best of ways.

Felix pulls away and goes back to lying across his lap, eyes on the screen. “What did I miss?” Chan wants to laugh at the contrast of domesticity against the epic poetry currently writing itself in his head.

“Um, I wasn’t watching,” Chan says. Felix hums.

“Oh, I remember this scene.” He reaches a hand back to touch Chan’s shoulder. It comes down across his body lazily. Chan puts his hands back on Felix, his head and his hip, and returns to petting him. 

“Is this why you have the cat ear headphones?” Chan asks, half-teasing.

“It is actually,” Felix says. “Hyunjin and Jeongin bought them for me as a joke, because I like it when the people I’m close with pet me. Again, don’t worry, my friends have never made me moan like you did or anything.”

“Like a cat,” Chan says, scratching the top of Felix’s head like he does to his own dog. Felix preens, and Chan can just catch a glimpse of his smile from this angle.

“Kitty-cat,” Felix says. Chan laughs. This is such a strange situation, but he wouldn’t give it up for anything.

Which is a shocking thought for Chan to have. He doesn’t want to acknowledge how addicted he is to being with Felix. It’s been a few weeks and only two dates. Why is that Chan already can’t think of being without Felix? It’s scary. Maybe Felix feels him tensing, because he speaks.

“It’s weird, isn’t it,” Felix says. “I know it hasn’t been long, but… I don’t know. I don’t want to think about you going back to Korea. I want you with me every day.” Chan reaches around to hold Felix’s hand. “And I’m trying not to be selfish. You came here to see your family, so you don’t have to come back again before you leave. I understand.”

“You’re not selfish,” Chan soothes. “True, I did come to see them. But I’ve spent a lot of time with them during my life, and while it’s always nice to see them, I haven’t spent nearly as much time with you yet.”

“Chan,” Felix says, but he doesn’t continue. The film finishes, displaying the home screen of the streaming service. Neither of them move for the remote, too settled in the moment.

“Tomorrow is Monday, so my parents will be at work and my siblings will be at school all day.” He pauses, lets Felix decide what he wants to do with that.

“So, would you want to spend the daytime together while they’re away?”

“Company would be nice, but I know you have your schedule to keep.”

“And I’m sure you also have work to do,” Felix says. “There’s room in my studio, if you want to sit there and get your work done while I’m making videos or streaming. That would be an okay date for me.”

“Sounds perfect,” Chan says. “Do you think the fans would notice if I did a casual stream from your apartment?”

“I don’t even want to think of what my mentions would look like on Twitter,” Felix says. “Speaking of, I’m guessing we don’t want to tell the public just yet?”

“Probably not,” Chan says.

“But our friends…”

“Yeah, I’d want to tell them.”

“Seungmin may want to meet you before you leave,” Felix says. “And then Hyunjin may demand for you to introduce yourself to him, Jeongin, and Minho when you go back to Seoul.”

“Should I be worried?”

“Absolutely not, they already love you.”

“Good.”

“Should I be worried about your boys?”

“I think they ship us harder than your fans do,” Chan says. Felix turns back to give him a look. “The teasing is incessant.”

“Teasing you is fun, though.”

“Oh yeah?” 

Felix sits up and faces Chan. He kisses him on the cheek and then the jawline, lips feather light. “Can I sit on your lap?” Felix murmurs against his ear.

“You ask now, after lying on it for over an hour?” He tries to sound annoyed to cover his shyness.

“Yes or no?”

“Yes.” And so Felix straddles his lap, arms around his shoulders.

“Comfortable?” Felix asks.

“Yeah.” Chan sets his hand on Felix’s thighs, surprisingly toned. “You work out?”

“Just cardio,” Felix says. “When I was younger, I did dance with Hyunjin, so I kept some good habits.”

“You danced? Does that mean—are you, uh, flexible?”

“A little,” Felix says with a shrug. “Now stop drooling and kiss me.”

Chan does what he’s told, pulling Felix down by the neck to kiss him. He can think about flexibility later. Right now is about kissing Felix, about slipping his tongue into his mouth and moaning into it. Felix sits too far back on his thighs to get any real friction—which is fine. Thoughts of flexibility aside, Chan isn’t ready for much more than this. He can worry about what ‘more’ means later.

Later is tomorrow, so it’s not that big of a deal anyway. Even when Felix yawns and Chan has to convince him to go to sleep, Chan doesn’t hurt as much as the last time he had to leave. He can come back tomorrow with his laptop and be productive, while also being with his current favorite person in the world, stealing kisses in the breaks.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently I’m fond of writing game fics because this is the fastest I’ve ever written something (relative to word count), and the second fastest is the dumb truth or dare NCT fic that spawned that angst series.

It’s around Wednesday that Felix starts to settle into the pattern. Chan arrives sometime after Felix gets up to shower. They talk about whatever happened since the last time they met before getting to work, Chan writing music and Felix making video content. Chan in fact does a just-chatting stream in Felix’s living room, but the background is a white section of the wall that no one could recognize.

They posted the photos to each of their Instagrams with friendly captions. Of course, the fans responded well, and many made jokes or predictions about why they met. They only posted those photos after telling their friends, which went as expected.

Felix received a screenshot from Chan showing that the other 3RACHA members congratulated him and immediately turned to some hard teasing. His own group chat with his friends went similarly. Seungmin called him later that night, after the congratulatory messages and teasing died down.

“So, your celebrity crush is your boyfriend now?” Seungmin asks. Felix has the call on speaker phone while he mixes cookie dough. They finished the brownies earlier today, and he wants to have more sweets when Chan comes tomorrow.

“Yeah?” 

“Like, did you fall for ‘Chan’ or for CB?” Felix pauses in whisking the dry ingredients.

“What? Chan,” Felix says.

“Don’t be angry with me, I’m just looking out for you,” Seungmin says, all his sincerity imbued in his words. “You’ve been on what, one date?”

“Two,” Felix says. “Five, if you count the times we’ve sat in my apartment separately while we worked.”

“Oh.”

“We watched a film together,” Felix blushes, “and I fell asleep on him. He just played with my hair the whole time. And he asks before touching me and checks-in with me a lot. Seriously, it’s like I’m the horny one in this relationship. He’s so sweet—not just in a general sense, but he’s _so_ sweet to me.” Seungmin is quiet for a while after Felix is done ranting.

“Was he at least good at playing with your hair?”

“I say this with the utmost respect, but he’s better than even Minho.”

“Really?” Seungmin asks, utter surprise in his tone. Felix goes back to baking. “You realize Hyunjin will be demanding proof.”

“I’m sure he’ll harass Chan to play with his hair when they meet.”

“Definitely,” Seungmin agrees. At least the seriousness is gone from his tone. “When is he going back home, anyway?”

“Saturday,” Felix says softly. “He’s coming over early on Friday.”

“Then that’s it?”

“Yeah. But it’s fine. We’ll still talk a lot, and maybe I’ll convince him to stream with me again. We’ll make it work.”

“I’m sure you will,” Seungmin says. “And, you know, it’s been a while since we’ve visited Jeongin and Hyunjin.”

“Minho too,” Felix adds.

“Yes, right.” Felix can practically hear the eyeroll through the phone line. “Point is, maybe when I have midterm breaks? If you want to wait for me.”

“Of course I want to wait for you. It’d be sad to go alone,” Felix says. “But, we’ll see about when to go.” He doesn’t want to think about the wait time, so he pushes the thought back.

And the week continues like that. Thursday passes as the same, though they have lunch with Seungmin between his university classes. The lunch is awkward, but fine, ending with Seungmin giving his approval. Felix’s other friends rejoice at the outside confirmation and start planning the next trip to Korea. Chan and Felix’s time together is easy, domestic even. The week passes by in a blur, a vivid, intense thing that Felix will cherish for the rest of his life, whether or not they break up. It ends on Friday.

Felix clears his schedule, working late into the night on Thursday in order to have a video prepared since he’s taking Friday off. Chan comes at the usual time, before either of them eat lunch. “You dressed up today,” Chan says as he comes in. 

“And so did you,” Felix says. The weekdays have been sweatpants type of days. But today is special.

“Yeah, I did.” Chan still turns his gaze away from Felix when he’s shy, as if he’s unsure if he can look at Felix. “What are the plans for today?”

“Tell me when you need to leave, first.” Chan goes to the couch, comfortable enough in the space to make the first move now. Felix sits beside him and faces him.

“Five,” Chan says.

“Alright, so that’s six hours. We can do whatever you want before lunch, and then we’ll do what I want to do.”

“And what is that?”

“You’ll see,” Felix says, faking enough confidence to make it work. 

“Okay.” Chan doesn’t even seem nervous when he agrees. “So for now, how about going on a walk?”

“A walk?”

“Yeah, is there a park or something nearby?”

“A couple blocks away,” Felix says. “It’s where I go running. There are a lot of ponds there, so it’s nice.”

“Shall we?”

It’s a little warm for a walk in the park, but Felix doesn’t mind. A little sweat never hurt, and any weather is fine if he’s with Chan. They walk the route Felix normally takes running, Felix pointing out the little quirks in the landscape he’s notices over the last year of living here. They head back when the sun gets too hot, and Felix orders them lunch on the way.

“So what is it you want to do?” Chan asks after they’ve cleared the kitchen table. Felix gives a mischievous smile and pulls something out of the console. “ _Uno_?”

“Yep,” Felix says. “I haven’t gotten to play this in forever.” He throws the deck on the table and sits across from Chan. “Seungmin isn’t over enough to just hang out, and online _Uno_ is trash.”

“Agreed,” Chan says. He takes the cards out and shuffles them. “I hope you know, though. I’m very good at this game.” He deals the cards.

“With two people, this game is mostly RNG.”

“Did you just use RNG to describe a card game?”

“Whatever, I meant luck-based.”

“Uh huh.” Chan sets the rest of the deck in the center. Felix arranges his hand and starts the round.

The first game ends quickly, with Felix winning. “I thought you said, ‘I’m very good at this game’,” Felix mocks. 

“It’s early to be letting your competitiveness distract you.”

“Start playing.”

The second game drags on. First Felix has the advantage, but Chan makes a comeback with a draw-four card. Felix manages to almost close the gap again, but Chan is already at three cards. This next move is important, and Felix has a draw-two cards and a draw-four. No way Chan can win.

Except, Chan meets each of his cards, making Felix draw twelve. He has too shocked to even catch Chan before he said ‘uno’. Felix glares at him as he grabs the last card, knowing he’s beat. Chan calls the final color and puts down his last card—a wild card, no less.

“Lucky bastard,” Felix mutters as he gathers the cards.

“You’re so cute when you get competitive,” Chan says. Felix gives him another glare, despite the affection covering his heart. “Another game?”

“We could do something else,” Felix says.

“You don’t want to lose anymore?”

“No, I just thought we could do something where there is no winner or loser?” Felix stands and crosses over to Chan.

He takes Chan’s hand and leads him away from the living area. They pass by the doors to the bathroom and to the studio. Chan hesitates in front of Felix’s bedroom. “Uh, Felix, I don’t know…”

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” Felix says. He already made his decision that he’d be ready if Chan were, but he also has no problem waiting for him. “I was thinking it may be more comfortable than just making out on the couch again.” Chan takes a deep breath and nods his head.

“Okay.” 

The lights are off in the room, though the late afternoon sun shines in through the window. Chan still seems unsure, so Felix sits on his bed and pulls Chan to join him. “Come here,” Felix says, adjusting Chan between his legs and leaning back.

“Like this?” Chan asks. Red has spread from his ears to his cheeks.

“Exactly,” Felix assures. He runs his hand through Chan’s hair, curls bouncing back in place after his hand goes to Chan’s neck. “Kiss me?”

Chan doesn’t hesitate there. He braces himself against the mattress and leans down to kiss him, passion dripping in each push against Felix’s lips. Felix holds onto his broad shoulders and licks his way in Chan’s mouth. Chan shifts his weight so he can press his hand against Felix’s back, pulling him closer. There’s no friction between them, but Felix _wants_ it, so he draws his legs closer, thighs framing Chan’s hips.

“This okay?” Felix asks. Chan is breathing heavy from the kiss. 

“Yeah,” Chan says, relaxing enough so his hips meet Felix’s. It’s not enough for anything, but it still makes Felix moan. “You’re pretty vocal in bed.” The words must have escaped, because Chan laughs in embarrassment afterward.

“And?”

“Nothing,” Chan says. His hand slides further up so he can leverage Felix closer and kiss his jawline. “I like your voice anyway.”

“When it’s low or high?” Felix asks, hands going down Chan’s chest. 

“When it’s saying my name.” Felix shivers.

“Chan,” he says, and Chan rewards him with a kiss low on his neck.

“I could listen to you say anything, actually.” Felix inches his hands down to finger at the hem of his shirt. “I could sit here thinking about your voice, and I would never have the proper words to describe it other than ‘perfect’.”

“Perfect?” Felix repeats. Chan hums an affirmation against his neck before kissing him there again. Felix grabs the hem of Chan’s shirt. “Can I?”

Chan pulls away to take his shirt off, thick muscle on display in the filtered sunlight. Felix’s mouth practically waters, and he reaches out to touch. He traces his fingers across the serratus and brushes against his abs. “Fuck, you’re so hot,” Felix says.

“Nah,” Chan says, gaze averted. Felix sits up so he can kiss every inch of skin.

“No, take the compliment,” he says between kisses. “Gorgeous. Sexy. Every fucking inch of you.” Chan laughs at his insistence, but Felix refuses to let Chan shrug off the compliment.

“Fine,” Chan says. He doesn’t sound completely convinced, but Felix commits himself to eventually making Chan realize how wonderful he is. Baby steps, though. 

Which include pulling Chan back down so his weight rests on Felix. Chan settles against him, a hand on the back of Felix’s thigh. They come apart only enough for Chan to get Felix’s shirt off. “Touch me?” Felix asks. His memories from when he was half-asleep of Chan touching him isn’t enough.

“’Course.” Chan runs his palm up Felix’s abdomen, callouses adding in a bit of pain despite his light touch. Felix eyes slide shut and his back arches. “You really like being pet, don’t you?”

“Mmhm.” It’s even better when Chan is so close, practically laying on him and breath coming out against his skin. Chan’s hand goes to his hair, fingers carding through the strands, and Felix moans.

“So pretty,” Chan whispers. Felix tilts his head up, lips parted slightly. Chan kisses him deeply, languidly, and Felix lets him lead however he wants to.

Even when they stop kissing, they hold each other in their arms, hands occasionally stroking over bare skin or denim. The sunlight warms the room, and it’s not too bright to keep Felix from getting drowsy. He’s not one for naps, but rarely does he feel so calm and safe. He doesn’t quite drift off. Felix stays awake enough to have spats of idle conversation with Chan and shift their positions when ever Chan gets restless. 

A quiet alarm wakes Felix fully. “Oh, it’s time,” Chan says. He sits up, dragging himself away from Felix, even as Felix reaches out for him again. “I have to go, sweetheart.”

“I’m your sweetheart now?” Felix asks.

“If you want to be?”

“If you’ll be mine?” Chan leans down and kisses him, sweet like his words.

“I’d be honored to.”

Felix gets up with him, helping him straighten out his shirt and his hair. “Was that alright?” Felix asks softly.

“It was great,” Chan says. He keeps his gaze on the floor. “I really like you, Felix. Like, a lot.” Felix grabs his hand to hold it.

“I like you a lot too.” And that’s enough for now.

Felix walks Chan out of the apartment. They hug one last time, give each other one last kiss, and then he leaves. The apartment feels empty without Chan, and Felix already wishes he would come back.

“Throw it in the air again,” Felix says. He checks chat while Chan figures out what direction to go. They’re five episodes into their co-streaming series where Felix teaches Chan how to play _Minecraft_. Chan is doing well, but of course he is since Felix is here to guide him.

“This way?” Chan asks and Felix hums an affirmation. They keep the pet names and the personal comments off-camera. The fans have not been told yet, but they still speculate. The past few months have shown the two getting very close. Lack of confirmation is nothing in the way of imagination.

“We should be almost there,” Felix says. “Throw another.” Chan does as he’s told.

“Cloud, what does ‘MLG’ mean?” Chan asks. Felix looks at his third monitor to see Chan reading chat.

“’Major league gaming’,” Felix says. “Have you never played a shooter before?”

“I have.” 

“Uh huh,” Felix says. Chan throws another, and it points them in the opposite direction. “Though, in this context, I’m guessing your viewers are asking if you’ll ‘MLG during the fight’ or something?”

“Yeah, that.”

“So they’re wondering if you’ll be able to catch yourself with water if the dragon flings you.”

“Are you not going to catch me?” Chan asks. Felix rolls his eyes. The occasional sweet thing is said in public as a joke. Or a half joke, since it does still make Felix’s heart flutter.

“The void will catch you before I do.”

“Wow, thanks.”

“Let’s dig here.” They start digging near each other, straddling block lines to avoid going straight down. 

“Here’s a comment: ‘When are you coming to Korea again’?”

“Dunno,” Felix says. He isn’t sure if he believes that Chan was reading a comment, or if he’s asking for himself. “Soon, maybe. I haven’t seen Jin, Lee Know, or I.N in a while.” He doesn’t even have to look at chat to know that people have spammed variations of _what about CB?_

And truthfully, Chan’s place is probably where Felix would stay. He would even sleep in his bed—though Chan my or may not sleep on the couch. Chan is a bit reserved about those things still, which is fine. Felix doesn’t push him when they’re on video call or sending messages. In-person would be so much better anyway.

“What does ‘soon’ mean?” 

“In a couple months maybe? I’ve been busy recently. The server is going to reset soon, and I have to prepare,” Felix says. “Also, I need to coordinate with Seungmin’s uni schedule.”

“Yeah, I forgot about that,” Chan says. “Oh, is this it?” Felix goes down one block more and sees the stronghold. 

“Yep. Lead the way,” Felix says. Chan navigates the dungeon, both of them avoiding death as they go. 

Felix is distracted. Granted, he’s done this a million times, so he doesn’t need to fully focus on it. But instead of interacting with chat like he should, Felix is thinking about Chan. A couple months? Anticipation bubbles up in his chest. Seeing Chan in a couple months would be nice. Assuming he can make his schedule work around it—three weeks into the beginning of a server’s season is not a good time to take a break. Unless he does his streams from Chan’s set-up. That might make a significant section of his viewers have heart attacks.

“Is this the portal room?” Chan asks, breaking Felix from his thoughts.

“Yeah, take out the spawner,” Felix says. Chan manages while Felix takes care of the pests and the lava.

They fix their inventories and set spawn. “Ready?” Felix asks as he makes his way to the other side of the portal frame. 

“I’m always ready,” Chan says. Felix can’t help raising an eyebrow. Where were Chan’s thoughts before this moment? Is that sentence supposed to mean anything else?

“Alright then.” Chan fills out the portal frame and it comes to life. “You first.”

“Together?” Felix smiles.

“Always,” Felix says. He doesn’t care what it sounds like to the viewers, because in this dumb, cheesy moment, all Felix can think about is how much he loves Chan and how soon he can get a plane ticket to Korea.

They jump in the portal, headed to the end together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic was really fun to write bc at one point I was pretty invested in writing a novel about an underdog esports team playing League or Starcraft or whatever. But it never became anything. So that energy has instead gone into this mess.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, come see me on twitter: https://twitter.com/UgSfWorks


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